We took a moment to reflect on what fun we had with Tye last night, and sang happy birthday to him in our heads this morning when we first woke up (if we had sang it out loud, that would have been a bit too weird and too hard even for us).
Its been a hard 6 months just trying to get on with normal things, and then just duvet diving instead. Grieving is so hard to do. But it has to be done so we have to bubble a bit at night, and there is laughter through the day. Someone just says a little thing and Belinda starts bubbling, then she's alright again. The good days are becoming more frequent than the 'duvet diving' days. We just miss him so much, the next 6 months is going to be harder, because we will now have 'remember when...' days, and as we never had those before, hopefully we will remember the good times. I have so much guilt around not being there for Tye enough. There are also memories of when he cried and we left him so he would fall asleep. Times we left him in hospital to go and do an errand or to D.I.Y. to get the house ready for him when he came home.
We remember all the cuddles, the looks he used to give us (especially those "Oh mummy..." looks), that the time would get later and later to leave him each night, because there was one more thing to do or another kiss bye bye. The fun time we had creating and sharing the Tye Snooze newsletters when he would do something funny. We have great memories in those news letters (see Newsletters in the menu on the left).
How much joy he bought us both will never be replaced and how blessed we were to have Tye in our lives for such a short time was precious.
We're off to visit friends across the road this morning, to have a cup of coffee with Tye's Godparents, and we are visiting his grandparents this afternoon. We'll try to remember all the wonderful times - oh, the tears have started today so let them flow.
It's been a bit hectic around here the last few weeks or so. So much to do, and we wanted the house to look lovely for Christmas, but there's just loads of D.I.Y. and tidying left to do, and we're going to watch the snooker in Telford in a couple of weeks too.
So, let us know how you're all getting on, as we think about you all, often, all the wonderful people that we meet through Tye especially all those other lovely babies. We'll be back in the real world one day to speak to you all. As its just to hard to be around other children at the moment we started to shop at night so we don't see any but we've been out during the day so things are getting better. I just keep thinking it only hurts so much because we loved Tye.
This message (now that I've fixed the problem we were having that stopped people from leaving comments or contacting us) will, I'm sure, be read before too long by most of you who visited our site in the past, so we just thought we would let you know how we are.
It's nice to know that so many of you are thinking of us at this time, as we are for all of you who knew Tye.
Thanks for visiting the site. It means so much to us (Simon might even finish uploading all Tye's photographs one day...)
Simon & Belinda